Wake up Raj!

While returning to the hostel yesterday, my friend exasperatedly narrated an incident from his class. “You know, how happy they were when they read that Karan Johar said sorry to Raj Thackeray… just because the movie said Bombay and not Mumbai.” Well his rage is justified, do the stars in the movie calling Mumbai, Bombay, anyhow lessen the city? Has somebody legally/constitutionally challenged the name, for which such brouhaha? It’s just a movie. Even the grammar of the languages has scope for formal writing and colloquial styles. Then Bombay remains the former name or shall we say a pet name now? Raj sahib we still refer to Mumbai everywhere official.

This didn’t come as a publicity stunt, for just a couple of days back did he propose a permit for non-Maharashtrians to visit the city. Just a sorry (if that comes), would it suffice for such unconstitutionally erratic behaviour? Well now some strong heads of the country (oh! I still include aamchi Mumbai), would parade to get him jailed for stirring up lingual differences in the jannlok. Does he run a parallel government or does Raj fancies him crowned for an autocracy? Dictator on the rise, rather! Where have the policing been? I don’t count the regular stoic State Police, but the high spirited moral police. A licence to move about in my country! Isn’t he being morally bad? Hey Raj (if this pleases your ears), these very people have made Bombay, Mumbai. Alas! Such ironies are just platitude to him. Expel the apologetic Johar and his ilk, and India loses the jewel, Mumbai.

What fears you Thackeray, the loss of original Mumbaikars? Have a panoramic view on the land beyond Mumbai. Sardars have been the fuel of laughter for all at the cost of the community, taking all sportingly. Any voracious eater is pointed out as the Bengal ka bhooka. My Bihari friends have given a wonderful Bhojpuri accent to make moments lighter. And here you keep a hisaab of a rupee, there comes the remark arre re Sindhi! How do I forget the Swami of the South? When I call all a Madrasi, these hilarious movie caricatures take all in the stride. Had all these regionally divided men taken umbrage to their references, or isolated themselves on the illusion of superiority, Raj bhau, India would have disintegrated into 28 odd pieces. So is Ranbir and Konkona’s reference to Mumbai as Bombay an insult; as hurting as those to Sardars or Bengalis? Is Johar visiting you, repentant for being colloquial, justified? It degrades the spirit of Mumbai, Raj bhaiya!

Anyways the movie was superb for all us aimless beings. Oh! Thackeray saab, did you relate yourself to it? I mean, all of us, my friends thought it was ‘just so me’. I suppose it could give you an aim. Look into your Mumbai. Arre forget who’s calling the city what! Look in what mess is that city. For the love of your Mumbai, do something of it’s now Oscar winning slums. Dilapidated infrastructure! That adjective too falls short to describe the status quo infrastructure. So how were the water logging this year? Thank God it didn’t rain hell this monsoon. And the honking traffic? The wonderful Taj graded security? The power? The filth and squalor? Raj bhai, our Mumbai lists in the top 52 dirtiest cities of the world. Shanghai, New York the financial capitals of the world stand as the quintessential cosmopolitan cities, cant India’s money capital be at least a true metropolis, showcasing the entire country?

Wake up Raj! Wake up!