Saturday, 16 March 2013

The Reverse Closet



A homeless man lives on a pavement opposite a bar. He notices two men walk out of the bar. They seem to be talking loudly and animatedly, but not a word is issuing out of their mouths. They turn into an isolated alley next to the bar. He knows the alley. There’s no other exit. People who walk inside it never walk out. He’s been here for ages and yet never seen a soul walk out of the alley. Yet he sees the same people in the outside world. Time and again they walk into the alley and disappear. When he sees them in the outside world, he sees them in various emotional states. Sometimes he sees them happy. Sad, depressed, ecstatic, lost, way faring, he’s seen the entire roller-coaster of their lives sitting on this pavement.

He sees people go in everyday and never walk out. His curiosity finally gets the better of him and he goes behind these two guys. He only enters the alley to find it deserted, but hears the snap of a door closing. Baffled he looks around, and sees that there is a cupboard stationed at the end of the alley. It is a small closet, barely large enough to hide one person, forget two! But there’s no other possibility, there’s no escape. With mild confusion, he walks towards the cupboard and as he moves a jittery hand to open the cupboard, a man barks from behind, warning him not to do it. He warns him that it is a dangerous cupboard, that it is the work of Satan, that anybody who opens gets sucked inside, anybody who ever opened never came back out of it. He said that only weird people opened it. And though they never came out of it from this door, they could be seen frolicking around in the world and getting weirder! And others, whom he called normal people, others, he had heard, who opened it, were pulled inside by gnawing and clawing hands and were never seen it. This last part scared him, but those two who went ahead of him seemed perfectly normal, he thought. Were they sucked inside as the man with the barking voice mentioned? In that case, shouldn’t he help them? That man had already disappeared after issuing his warning.

With a steely resolve, he moved towards the closet once again. There is a dead silence in the alley, as if he’s walked too far from civilization. Cars can be seen passing through the road where he just came from, but no sound reaches here. As if there’s an invisible membrane. His hands shake as he opens the door of the closet. The door has an air of antiquity; it looks rickety yet as good as new. It doesn’t open with a creaking noise as he had expected, but with a dignified silence, but as it slowly opens, there rises in his ear a hum, which gradually increases. He’s scared, but the hum doesn’t seem to go past that invisible membrane. Only he can hear it. As the sound settles in his ear, he realizes that it is the sound of an infinite people talking, chatting, singing, dancing and going about their daily business. But it is pitch dark inside. He finds courage to enter the closet, and the moment he does, he can see. Maybe a light has switched on, he thought, but soon he realizes that only his eyes have slowly got accustomed. Inside it is the same world that is outside. The same people. The same cars, the same roads. He is standing in the same alley. It has the same things, and now that the initial air of familiarity has subsided, he notices that the clouds in the sky are different. They are darker, gloomier. There’s an air of melancholy, as if an elegy is being played. He spots the two people he had come chasing. They still seem deep in an animated conversation. But this time, he can hear them. He again sees the man who warned him and goes to tell him that his warning was unnecessary. But the other man sees through him and turns a deaf ear to his words.

The two men notice him finally. They see him making an effort to talk to a man who is ignoring him. They come and tell him that he would not see him nor listen to him. It’s his choice. He has chosen to do so. He tells him that he has entered a closet inhabited by those who are different from the others. They tell him that they are homosexuals. But they are not the only people who are different. Everyone who has entered this closet is different from those on the other side of the door. They tell him that you could see yourself as normal, but by choosing to enter this space, you have differentiated yourself from them as they don’t recognize us. They choose to ignore us, our rights, our very existence. And it’s worse when they do recognize us. Then they pelt us with stones. We see them but they don’t see us. It is them who have a limited field of view. It is them who have to come out of the closet. The homeless man looks back at the closet. It opened the other way.


By Shikhar Singh