Wednesday, 6 April 2011

I look on...





I looked at the mirror
I looked at the mirror again tonight.

I looked at myself after pretty long,
I looked at how I look now.
I looked if anything had to be fixed,
I looked interested in myself, and how!
I’d never really been a Narcissist, but
I brushed with the sense after pretty long.

I used to gaze at the reflection for hours,
I used to look on until my look was fine.
I used to ask the mirror if I’d be looked at
I used to smile for the gentry that would dine.
And then, my muse was gone.
Along; had gone plenty.

I lost much, and in that was my mirror.
I was brought a new one, framed, and well lit.
I looked at it and wondered, for whom?
I was told to move on, but I rarely looked at it.

Today, was it?
Or has it been for a while?
I spoke interestedly and listened to the replies,
I smiled and kept it, till I walked home.
I looked at the mirrored face and yes, time flies.
I hooked the mirror on a wall,
I look at the mirror today and
I remember the bygone fall.

I look hesitant, I sigh for the dawn,
I look at the mirror to see a missing scar,
I look, and there’s still in me that fawn.
I look at new grey in the hair, but that wouldn’t mar.
I look on;
I’ll love the old look for on, but
I would look on for my look from now on.

Saturday, 12 March 2011

Let there be no music




Let there be no music
For sometime let it be silent.
Let it settle down
A little, it has been so violent.

The cries of the hero
Longing for his love he lost.
Or the band’s drumbeats
On the floor, cheering raise a toast.

Tune off the radio,
Let there be no sound.
Knock off the earphones
They give my head a round.

You ask for a jazz?
Or skip from pop to rock,
Spare me the Raga, I’ll
Even shove away the filmy dock.

Melody melts as venom, in
My lonely self and a bottle of rum,
For I have walked miles and months,
And the iPod’s been the sole hum.

Tune it off for the
Hero’s croon; love makes me cry.
Knock off the earphones, for the
Revelling beats give nostalgia a try.

Let there be no music
For sometime let there be no noise,
Hush, I quite like this silence,
Please, I just wait to hear a voice…


Tuesday, 21 December 2010

A December night.



That was a raw December night in Delhi. I was driving towards the airport and had just fought for the seventeenth time with my wife for the day. Nagging for every little thing she argued why the hotel staff calls me every second midnight. And to charge it all, the visitor kept on calling to make sure if I had reached the terminal.
Ji, sir ‘am at the parking. Shall I see you at the Arrivals?”
haan bhaiya, Gate 17.”
Grabbing the printout that the reception gave me, I snuggled into the old jacket. Sighing, I remembered how that brown wool brought me closer to my many occasions of a divorce. She’d started with it and went on to stay at her mother’s for months, last winter.
“Damn,” I spat the masala.
“Hello? Bhaiya you haven’t reached the gate?”
“Sir, am almost there.”
Achha, you have the name plate? There are 3 gates, you stand at number 4. I’ll be there looking at 5 and 6. ”
Ji sir.”
I dragged my feet and stood listlessly, leaning at the railing.

“Ajay, again? What number?”
haan, 871, you?” I enquired of Ramdas.
Smart in his Radisson uniform, he started his usual cant, “British 772., saala it was showing delayed sometime back, but now it isn’t even displaying the name.”
“Mine would land at half past 12. Madmen! At twelve only they’ve called me. They’ll take an hour to come out, even if they land in time yaar.”
We kicked off with our regular conversation openings, and my exasperation sublimed away.
“There she is! Whore, last Saturday she walked out with a Jet’s pilot.”
“Hasn’t she grown fat?”
 “Forget it Raamdas.”

Achha, look there. Look how baffled she looks, silly woman.”
“Don’t say that. She comes from a village. Even our wives and sisters would be as puzzled as she. Though, my wife would rather create a scene here for the authorities.”
I noticed the woman. Dressed in what she would call her best suit, an electric blue with large silver motifs. She called for someone and my eyes followed hers. A lad of seventeen, probably, with a face yet not to be shaved, stood a little vexed glancing over the flight schedules. But the glint in his eyes matched the woman’s, rather her silver motifs’. I looked ahead to realize a big crowd of Sardars and the two lanky men behind, with dhols slung across them.
“Must be here to receive their damaad
“Can be here for their son from the UK too… don’t you remember Duggal saab?” I retorted.

The airport aura was different today. A bee hummed near the bin. I discovered people around me; people who stood there… as I stood there every second night, waiting. Their number was plenty. Half of them just hung off the railing. My brothers, I marked.
There was some noise at the other side, and as magnetising such noises are, most of the heads turned towards the gate. A gentleman, I’d say that for his wear, not too sure for his noise with the security chap, walked out of the maze of men and women. A lady draped wonderfully in a pink sari complemented his big brand suit and the violet silk tie.
“She’s old”, nudged Ramdas. Observing my observance of her, “must be a mother of…”
“She is! And I am a father of three.”

The woman in the blue suit was too loud and frantic by now. The boy with him seemed equally hapless. I yawned turning towards the gate numbered 4, they were a habitual sight. My flight was still slated ‘landed’.
“They’ll take an hour more”
“Oh! It’s routine.” My mate responded, as programmed.
“There is too much happening around us. But we never miss the happening one around us.” I chuckled.
kidhar?
Fancy white women of vision often amble out, and had often been our duties as well. But a little anxious one next to us in the reception wasn’t a daily sight. By the time he spotted the beauty with cascading gold locks, she ran off from gate.
“She’s running!”
“Oh! Yes. She is…”
And she almost tripped and slipped en route, slapping her palm against the pillar, hurdling over a bag or two, darting towards the other opening, she stumbled.
“Oh crap!” cried he.
Before one could realize she leaped and flung on to a blonde lad. Flung? They were one in that tight hug, as children’s blocks fix into each other. Now that was a scene the terminal was waiting for, its monotone broke, all heads turned a degree of ninety and their sights remained glued there. Ramdas whistled.

I smiled away, as the decibel rose around and Ramdas got on to his poetic rendition and addition of the spectacle just before us. Within minutes all were back to their chores – chatting, laughing, munching, waiting, swearing, wondering and panicking. The woman in her best blue bib, panicked now, and the boy did the same behind her. He must have been much lesser than his late teens as I estimated. I wanted to offer help, but withheld. This was a regular and she’d find her way out soon. No flights had crashed after all! Instead a new set of people walked out of the Arrivals. We looked for ours in vain. A young handsome man walked out with a sparkling smile. My eyes weren’t even fixed on him yet, when he strode past us and hugged the raucous gentleman.
“I told you she’s a mother, but didn’t realise of such a man!”
I laughed out heartily at my friend’s disappointment. He is on a look out for alliance prospects, seeking a bollywood one at the airport, but this surely put him down. The boy hugged his mother.
“Big business class people. How they betray their age?”

My giggles translated into soft smiles… Their faces were so calm, so happy. The set of thirty two were gone, but the left over managed the grin somehow. Each fold on the face shone cheerfully. Wrinkles could be beautiful. His wife was the same behind him, just on a wheelchair. Was it the relief of coming back in time? Was it to do with the songs of the soil? It indeed was. Or simply, it might be a relief of having someone who cared, probably kids back in the country. Looking for who was going to receive them. I thought of my mother, old and walked with a stick. I barely spoke to her now, sparing the routine food and sleep enquiry. I heaved a sigh; a heavy sigh. My eyes dampened. Now there were no tales, there was no laughter. There were no more arguments, and no more admonishes. She must have been sleeping in her cot in the two room house where I live. But I missed her. I controlled myself and the lovely young pair was received by an equally young man. He appeared to be a brother of the old man. They celebrated.

I wiped my cheek. Thankfully Ramdas was busy with one of his numerous prospects over the phone. He gestured two minutes to me. I said take ten, and laughed him off. The village woman in her bright blue garb was distressed by now. I simply went ahead. She did sound worse than my wife. Probably Suman had got tuned to the city beats. But this lady cried of losing her husband. By the end of the episode I knew they came from Bhatinda, the young son was sixteen and studied in a public school, her husband worked in Oman and landed an hour ago. She had a new mobile number and a worn out battery, and a silly cellular call from my device saved her the hysteria. Plus, her silly husband had walked down back to the departures.
Punjab tourist bus de kol pahuchriyaan”, she handed the phone back to me, her son stretching his smile back. Yes he was close to seventeen, I smiled back.
shukriya virji

Pagli! I spotted her in the beginning only. Didn’t I?”
“It’s okay, the city buzz does scare you. Suman wasn’t better when I moved here.”
“That’s the reason am looking for one here.” he tried hitting a witty one, but my smirk left him defeated. This coupled to the disgusting end he had that day. A stout middle aged woman in a red trouser towing a trailing bag walked out. With an odd grimace she signalled him from a distance of five yards. He shook a little and nervously scuttled away to grab the heavy suitcase.
“See you tomorrow,” I shouted.

The gang of Sardars with the two man band had received neither a son nor a son-in law. A daughter is what the men were proud of. The young zealous white couple had kissed and left, the handsome boy went home with the rich dad, the forever young couple made me heavy and the silly bright blue Bhatinda woman gave me a titter. I wasn’t tired but I called up my man.
“Sir, how long?”
Arrey bhaiya, you bring the car, I’ve received them. Il bring them to the parking.”
Funny man, I gulped down.

My watch showed half past two, when I dropped them at the De Royal. I was tired, now. Walking back I assessed the fall out I had with my wife earlier in the night. I knocked and she opened the door without much delay. It was dimly lit- just the dull night bulb dangling in a corner. That cast a shadow on her profile fusing with dark open hair. Her face was tired, but a faint, satisfied smile painted her well. I had just hugged her.



Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Dance of the shadow!


All there on a beach we sang,
Danced and so did the dark spaces on the sand.
Moving with me, finely cut out under the sun,
They had no qualms as I, liked the run.
Queer animals I drew on the wall,
That flew and barked till lighted was the hall.
Laughing them off, I turned to another curtain,
That had a fine outline of a lady who did refrain.
Tangible circles and slender fingers set her hair
That fell cascading, would have been for a fare.
Walked, I in a moonlit night. 
Stretched from my feet till my sight,
A shaded patch, until I marked my jacket latch.
Me, spread on the street, but my eyes didn’t match.
All obscure, thankfully my tears n grins didn’t matter.
But the silhouette kept following for the better.
Back sometime in bright sunlight as I looked;
Funny shaped ovals ran through my book.
And funnily I gazed at my ruffled hair,
Earphones oddly fixed into my ear.
Later, three orbited to my left on the street;
Sharpening in turns, converging at my feet.
Shadows, thanks to each passing bulb dangling,
Darkened, to fade out with a step, past future and the lingering.
Past, future and the lingering I thought,
Stared and looked at what my gait brought.
The play of the lamps in line and my pace,
Paced, as three needles of a clock, at equal space.
A barking dog distracted me,
And lost I, my shaded trinity.




Friday, 26 November 2010

Am Happy!

Am happy today.
Am happy for the moment.
Today, I may not be forking steak, but am happy nibbling potatoes.
Today, I may not be donning a Louis, but am happy in my blue jeans.
Today, I may not have my friends with me, but am happy with acquaintances,
Today, I may not be able to see him, but am happy hearing him.
Today, I may not have him, but am happy in the memories.
Today, I may have been betrayed, but am happy for the trust of many.
Today, I may have been at crossroads, but am happy for walking on.
Today, I may not be penning a book, but am happy in a verse.
Yesterday has gone by, am happy in its remembrances.
Tomorrow is to come, am happy in its dreams.
Life is short, am happy for the moment.
Am happy for the moment.
Am happy today.

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

I am wet...






It seems ages since last I was wet,
Drenched in downpour, but didn’t fret.
Of late have I seen the azures turn blue,
Pacing my pulses, the rain has the clue.

Plush green patch in the house beckoned,
Kids; my brother and I waited no second.
Hopped in glee, Ma’s call we again vouched;
Sipped tea, glared a pearl on the leaf that couched.

Years ahead the clouds killed the sun,
Shutting schools giving us an elated run.
Pedalling knee deep streets we set our hair,
Sans raincoats, saving the books was fair.

Splashed water with folks, bikes we zoomed on
Laughed out in ecstasy, the waft that we’d don.
Living the moment, a coffee was all we mumbled,
As clenching ‘em, I ducked rain, and trembled.     

Drop drop drop it has been drizzling down,
With each drop vanished a degree of my frown?
Quiet I sat with friends at the revelling lake,
Cool air and the clouds - all for my calmer sake?

Green glace and the fresh breathe,
Even springing on the puddled street.
For souls who disappeared midway,
Has turned damp, marshy and astray.

Yet again has a drop touched the ground,
Yet again have the clouds dark, taken a bound.
I gaze at them as hollow my insides
Turn heavy when the thunder rides.

A flash of light in the black sky
Tears me open sapping my spirit dry.
A flash that brought the rain of the past
I saw what monsoon did to me last

Its been raining, and has rained thence,
And every drop, worthy a plenty pence.
If not out in the greens or on the usual set
If not in the rain, but within, I am wet.


They say it hasn’t rained such in thirty years,
Perhaps it’s just that I’ve added a few tears.
It seems ages since last I was wet,
But it seems ages since, within I am wet.


Thursday, 19 August 2010

Why is it that the country runs on umpteen schemes?





The tripod was set, the camera primed. I gave a final check to the frame, noticing the Nikon banner, the boards of Adidas, KFC and Levi’s. The space was set and we were on the look out for posh ladies and pretty lasses. “Ma’am, we are from NDTV. Could you please spare a minute for us?” And most of them were running short of time.

We were taking a public opinion on the credit card CIBIL story that we followed and the crowd really amused us with the response. ‘50% SALE’, I zoomed out and focussed on the shoe behind the Woodland glass. “What story is this?” enquired a loud cheery voice. A pleasant and plump face fixed a gaze on me. “… hmm .. a story on the shopping trends… ” I replied clearing my throat.
“We’ve just opened a new shop here, would you please cover that too?” she started pleading. Ranjan and I were more than happy. We saw a pool of water in the desert. Cleaving through the market crowd, the fawn jumped with glee.

Glistening, fresh and spotless, the apparel outlet shone with all the perfect setting and keep. We stumbled upon gold. Capturing all our desired shots, and most coveted frames we had to please the budding entrepreneur. Setting her in the frame,
I started, “so since when is the shop open to public”            
“…about a week.”
“And how’s the response?”
“Hmm pretty well, actually its just a week so I’ll say good. Actually nothing in the shop is more than eleven hundred, so…”
“So there must be a lot of card payment here?”
“Oh! Yes.”
“Okay, ma’am so even you prefer credit cards? Or cash?”
“oh yes yes,.. Cards!”
“And are your bills being paid in time?”
“(Laughs) ya mostly.”
“That’s good, so ma’am, are you aware of any body called CIBIL?”
“No, I fear.”
“That’s okay ma’am. It’s a body that monitors your card bills and payments and makes a defaulters’ list.”
“Anyways, thank you ma’am.”
“Thank you. I am so excited. Thanks to NDTV for featuring our shop. When will this be aired? What time? I’ll tell all my friends.”
“Listen, why don’t even you speak and answer the questions… They are featuring our store,” she chirped in excitement to her husband.
“Perhaps tonight, 9 o’ clock bulletin” Ranjan gave a prompt reply.
“Not necessarily. It will be edited first and they’ll decide if it’s going on air or not,” I hesitated.
“Ok… But thank you so much. It was very nice of you. You shot those mannequins? Half in the wall, ones? They are nowhere here in this market.”
“Rinki, take out two bags.” She ordered her helping hand.
“You pick up anything from the store that you like. It’s a small present from our side.”
I was taken aback. Apart from shamelessly denying her gesture I could do nothing better.

We were back from our shoot, with a jackpot in hand and a little sullen heart. How excited had she been! This was just a class bulletin, was one. This was faked was entirely a scheme. Why is it, that most of the work in the country is schemed? Be it the CWG tenders or the class bulletin.




Friday, 6 August 2010

Evolution of a Story!





A polished face, immaculate fabric, adequately lit up studio and a clear pristine voice projects to us the Television news . More than often the viewer dismisses it over petty glitches. This video, initially made for the NDTVmi, documents how a news story is conceptualized, implemented and takes birth. 

The movie is an amateur attempt shot on the SONY PD170 and edited on Avid Media Composer. 
The concept, storyboarding, camera, editing, voice-overs all are credited to the complete team.
Yamini Joshi
Sapna Dhanwani
Nit Ranjan Srivasta
&
Rajan Luthra.

Well, the 9 minute video would explain it all, that what is it that the viewer doesn't know about the 24hrs news he watches, cribs, talks, discusses, argues, swears, and again flicks back to. NEWS isn't just a pretty face, even if it's about terror, a pretty lady or the rich tomatoes!   









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Saturday, 24 July 2010

It - just another turn!




Was flying free, was gliding the gale;
Coloured and bright It sang a tale.
It knew not of the approaching rail,
And knew not It was so frail.
Pulsed It well, and flushed It well,
Till final day It rang the knell.
Slipping away through Its hues It fell,
For there was a master who’d just yell.

Lost in transaction, lost It Its kin,
Woke up abruptly, in a new space to win.
Hesitant, It searched a voice in the din,
That was lost as the drop of a pin.
Smile that It painted well on the face,
Became hard to maintain through the race.
Picked up and put away in a separate case,
Slowly took toll, hampering Its pace.

Was it the time that wasn’t ripe,
Or, an unprepared moment in the pipe?
Was it the colours of newer hues and types,
Or, It distanced away several wipes?
Blotted and lumped It lost Its pulse and air,
Deeds of joy, comfort or pleasure in fair.
Missed a beat, for the yester’s It did care,
For now It remained lone and rare.

A sigh and It learnt It had to flow,
Ebbs or highs, It had to row.
Smile faded a little, relaxed the brow,
Turning genuine but surely slow.
Fluttering came newer colours many,
Painted It some, sketched, but wary.
Of them liked It a few, liked Its ferry,
Followed a few, making It one out of any.

Scolded consoled chided and It was retold,
To get up, get back and just be bold.
The colours bygone visited from the fold,
It was a glimmer that It was desperate to hold.
Ecstasy calmed down, but assuaged the sallow,
Relieved a little, It turned again to the din to follow
Now pulsing and even sporting a part halo,
Taking all in the stride, the ups or the low.


A brief sojourn, was perhaps essential
To clear out all, unplanned or intentional
Tools working upon It, irrational,
To set It back again, beating and functional.
It, is nothing from the outer space or the bowl,
It, is simply the turn of life, the breathing soul.
Journey It learns is from the bird to the owl,
Plenty of colours or sounds felt, taken, left,
Or carried throughout without a foul.